“Why has food bank usage increased? Because people are living beyond their means!”

“It’s the will of the people.”

“Ooh, look, Sturgeon has a new dress.”
“She needs a new face.”

“That’s the problem with nowadays, people are always getting stuff for nothin’.”

Woman: “Why ain’t there an International Men’s Day?”

“We need to bring back the death penalty.”
“I agree!”
“And hanging wouldn’t even have been good enough for Ian Brady. He deserved a slow, painful death.”

“People should stop moaning about Britain, some countries still live in huts with no electricity.”
“Well, if Corbyn gets in…”

“I like Boris Johnson, because he is a big advocate of teaching Latin in schools.”

If my colleagues at work represent the UK voting population as a whole, then the country is in big trouble.

As we approach yet another national vote – the fourth in four years – my political pessimism has me very much prepared for another awful result. Throw in Trump’s win, Le Pen’s success, and UKIP’s overall control of Tory policy and one wonders if moving into a cave for the rest of my days is probably the best option. Nottingham, after all, has plenty of choice on this front.

If nothing else, it’ll be absolutely hilarious if Labour win – due to all the smug smiles wiped off all the twatty faces and for the fact that Theresa May called the election obviously thinking she would win it easily.

It will also put my faith back in the average person. The polls are looking surprisingly promising for a Labour victory. The closing of the gap is pretty astounding. Jeremy Corbyn is doing a lot better in the face of interviewer and public questioning than May. Labour’s policies are much more popular in polls. Not that I’m that sure how much polls really mean – but it is bizarre to see the same people who thought they were so important and accurate when they were showing Corbyn as unpopular, now saying that they do not take much stock in them.

How strange, though, that Jeremy has become more electable once Labour MPs stopped saying he was not and the news channels have had a harder time impartially censoring him. The BBC etc have had to put his unedited speeches and pledges up there for the public to see; this wasn’t happening before. To the extent that when the Labour manifesto was leaked, people seemed surprised by how good it looked. I wondered why people had not been listening for the last eighteen months – I suppose they just weren’t been told.

Of course, the right wing press are working hard to discredit Corbyn and Labour, as much as they ever have done. Although with such headlines from The Daily Express as ‘EHarmony boss says Jeremy Corbyn may cause dramatic decrease in Britons looking for love’, one wonders if they’re running out of ideas. They’re definitely scared, though. And, let’s be honest, they always have been, else they wouldn’t have bothered expending so much effort on him in the past eighteen months or so.

Surprisingly, George Osborne has been very critical of the Conservative manifesto and therefore his new toy – the London Evening Standard – has been, too. One is beginning to wonder – with this criticism from within, as well as May’s u-turns, support of fox hunting, absence from the BBC debate (an incredibly mind boggling bad move) and general incompetence – if the Tories are trying to lose. Perhaps they want to put the burden of Brexit on Labour, because they realise how difficult it will be to negotiate?

Corbyn has suffered due to his threat to the Establishment, of course. But he has also suffered from people’s general distrust of politicians. To me, when May says she wants to protect worker’s rights, it is so obviously a lie to get votes it makes me laugh – until I realise that people will somehow believe it. Or, if they don’t, they’ll also not believe Corbyn saying the same thing. All politicians are the same, according to many, and Jeremy gets lumped in with all the other untrustworthy career politicians; a man who claims barely any expenses, a man who opposed the MP’s pay rise and gave it away to charity when it was inexplicably awarded, a man who has fought for workers and peace and the general public all his life rather than just in the last few weeks.

This general election will actually be the first time I vote Labour. It may well be the last, too, if they lose. I remain a reluctant Labour voter because if Corbyn goes then we’ll most likely just see them retreat back to the neo-liberal Blairite centre ground. Their previous in-fighting and resistance to Corbyn has not been attractive. However, the gulf between what a Corbyn-led Labour will do for the UK and what a May-led Conservatives will do, is too massive to ignore. I genuinely apologise to my preference, The Green Party, for defecting; however, this election is a bit of an anomaly. Saying that, if The Greens, Liberal Democrats, SNP (or even bloody UKIP or The Monster-Raving Zombie Party of Mars) are the most likely to defeat the Conservatives in your constituency, then vote for them.

This is not a fucking game. Do your research. Look at May and Corbyn’s past voting records. Read something more than the headlines of right wing newspapers. Wake up.