Decluttering. Whether you have thrown something unneeded away, taken it to the charity shop, or sold it, you now have more space. Not necessarily space which you will particularly use for anything – and so you shouldn’t, I say! It will feel like you have cleared some mental space when you do this right. It’s good. It’s great. Do it. Be more minimalist.

A package through the door. Even if you have ordered it and you know the day it is going to arrive, you are basically getting a present delivered to your door. Adversely, it is terribly disappointing to see a package and then realise it is actually your neighbour’s.

A nice cup of tea. I would say that approximately one in four cups of tea are perfect – not just in milk to tea stewing ratio but also the time in which you drink it. Optimum temperature is important. Those other three times are fine, usually enjoyable enough but it may be the anticipation of the tea that is its main draw anyway. It seems so stereotypically English but, as the kettle boils, it does feel like it is going to be ok; everything really will be fine.

Papadums/Poppadoms/Popadoms/Pappppaduoms. Seriously, flour and water fried in oil has no right to be so tasty and moreish.

An empty swimming pool. Mainly because most other swimmers are cunts.


New pants at a festival. It is surprising what a difference a daily change of underwear, coupled with some targeted baby wipe usage, makes to how your unwashed grubby self feels.

USB cable in the right way up first time. I could take that extra two seconds to check which way I’m putting it in. But I don’t. I wing it. And approximately 50% of the time, it is the right way round and it is awesome.  

Kicking a ball. Or, in fact, anything vaguely ball shaped. This does seem like a more male phenomenon – perhaps due to an ingrained sexism through promoting football more with young boys than with young girls? Or perhaps males are just more inherently violent and like kicking things? I don’t know. All I know is that kicking balls (please, calm yourself, I’m trying to be serious) or plastic bottles or whatever is extremely satisfying and difficult to resist.

Correlated opinions. Different viewpoints and opinions make the world a more interesting place and blah blah blah, but it is extremely satisfying when another human has the same opinion as you about some film or music album or whatever – especially if it is an opinion that you previously thought was only held by yourself.

Shares and likes. I think this is more to do with the adverse effect of getting no attention on social media. You send off that perfect tweet or post, completely satisfied that people should be thoroughly impressed by it. But then, no likes. Or maybe one of two pity ones (like what you might now give to this article, perhaps).